the life changing magic of tidying up – a book review

the life changing magic of tidying up – a book review

Before you accuse me of “sour grapes” regarding the hoopla surrounding Marie Kondo’s best-selling book, hear me out. I think this is much more a case of brilliant marketing than of a brilliantly-written organizing book. Just look at that title:

  • Life-changing: Many clients have actually said, “You’ve changed my life!” so using that phrase was pure gold.
  • Magic: Ooooh – that sounds way better than “physically exhausting” or “emotionally draining,” right? But getting organized, while invigorating and exciting, can also involve a lot of hard work.
  • Tidying up: This sounds more pleasant than “de-hoarding” or even “de-cluttering,” but in my mind, “tidying up” is what you do right before company arrives: put away the unread newspaper, the dishes drying in the rack, and make sure the guest bathroom is clean.

The third time I read this, I used green tabs to mark passages I agree with and pink tabs to mark passages I disagree with:

My tabbed edition

This would be a much longer post if I cited every aspect of her process I take issue with, so I’ll focus on the six primary points I find impractical, puzzling or problematic:

  1. Marie says there’s only ONE correct order for “tidying” by category as listed here:
    • Clothes –She’s generally opposed to hanging clothes for a variety of reasons, but in my experience clients are more likely to re-hang a shirt than to lovingly fold it one very specific way and place it in the drawer one very specific way. Hanging often prevents things from becoming a pile on the floor.
    • Books – No one ever rereads a book, she says, and if you own a book you’ve never read, you’ll never read it. If she wants to save info, she RIPS THE DESIRED PAGES OUT OF THE BOOK! (Yes, I just shouted that. As a book lover, this is wrong on so many levels.)
    • Papers – The most time-consuming to organize, we usually save for later unless it’s the client’s primary goal. See #2.
    • Everything Else: CDs, DVDs, accessories, electronics, household goods… again, in this very specific order. Her “everything else” category is too extensive; any one of those areas might be where we start if it makes sense.
  1. You only need three folders for paperwork. Hahaha! Whew, good one, Marie Kondo! In spite of my diligent efforts to eliminate paper, not everything can be maintained online. Mari says it’s better, easier, and less stressful to quickly know that you don’t have the paperwork you need and to simply take action to get it. How is that easier? I’d run myself ragged if I didn’t have a well-maintained filing system. Take a look at my situation:
    • I run a business – this requires paperwork for insurance, payroll, taxes, financial reports, expenses, professional affiliations and more.
    • I manage our household – there are financial, medical, and insurance files, auto records, household repair records, etc.
    • I handle my elderly mom’s paperwork – and maintain paperwork for deceased loved ones. You need to keep things like death certificates.
    • We own income property – again, lots of necessary files.
  1. She dislikes organizing bins or totes. Marie says words on bins create commotion in your mind. However, she loves using shoe boxes. I’d rather see matching plastic bins labeled and lined up on a shelf than a row of mismatched shoe boxes that don’t contain any shoes. Where do all those empty shoe boxes come from, anyhow?
  1. Only keep things that “spark joy.” Blech. That phrase doesn’t apply to the utilitarian or necessary items in our lives. Maybe this is a translation issue, but I’m sick of reading, “Does it spark joy?” No, my toilet plunger does not spark joy. Here’s how I query clients when reviewing their stuff:
    • Do you need it?
    • Do you use it?
    • Do you love it?
    • Do you have a place to appropriately and respectfully keep it?
  1. Marie keeps her kitchen tidy by drying her sponges, towels, dishes, etc. on her veranda. She proudly explains that she doesn’t need a dish rack! She puts dishes in a large bowl and sets everything outside to dry. Gah! Her book is peppered with this type of suggestion and I can’t imagine it makes sense to anyone.
  1. Other examples of impractical Mari Kondoisms:
    • Empty your purse every night, put the contents in your closet, thank your purse for its service, and refill it in the morning. *sigh*
    • Take the shampoo, conditioner, and soap out of the shower every day, dry them off, put them in a cupboard, get them out the next day. You just know, three times out of five you’d get in the shower and say, “Dang. Forget the soap again.”
    • Keep your books on a bookshelf in your closet, where you also keep your keys, jewelry, and all other personal belongings. She says forget about “frequency of use” storage/placement.
    • Putting things away creates the illusion that a clutter problem has been solved. Huh?

Kondo states, “You must sort by category, in the correct order, and keep only those things that inspire joy.  Do this thoroughly and quickly, all in one go.” It’s not unusual for a client’s home to have a full basement, a packed attic, and a two-car garage filled with everything but cars; yet my clients have experienced long-lasting success using my “baby steps” approach.

Marie Kondo’s one-size-fits-all approach does not address hoarding or chronic disorganization. In those cases, her proposed method might actually do more psychological harm than good.

I’ve been organizing clients’ homes and lives for nearly twelve years. Whether working one-on-one or presenting a seminar on organizing, I stand by my five-step approach to tackling any organizing project, no matter the content or quantity:

  1. Start small – I encourage clients to “baby step” their way to success. Get started by breaking large projects into small manageable segments.
  2. Like with like – you can’t decide which coffee mugs to keep and which to donate until you gather them all together to review. This applies to any grouping in any order.
  3. Categorize – Decide what you’ll keep, distribute, sell, donate, recycle, or toss.
  4. A place for everything, and everything in its place – you can’t put it away if it doesn’t have a home.
  5. Maintain and move forward – As you complete one area, maintain it and move on to your next project.

Although Marie Kondo touches on some of these points in her book (thus, those few green tabs) I think her process is unrealistic. For most organizers, where we begin and the pace of our progress is based on the individual client, their situation, stamina, needs and goals.

As my website simply states, “Being organized is about finding what you want when you want it.” At Home Solutions, the mission is to help clients create a home or work environment that is functional, visually pleasing, and meets their current needs.  

I’m sure she’s laughing all the way to the bank, but her book gets a two-thumbs-down review from this experienced professional organizer.

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One Right Way? Nah.

One Right Way? Nah.

There’s a saying, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.”  Yes, it’s a graphically horrifying phrase, especially given the “lolz kitten” craze that threatens to collapse the internet with its sheer magnitude. But it’s a saying that goes back 200 years and I’m using it to make my point. I promise, no kittens were harmed in the writing of this post. Adorable kitten

Here, have a look at an adorable kitten.

My point? If someone tries to tell you there’s only one right way to organize something, (which, ironically, always happens to be their way) you shouldn’t automatically believe them.

Take socks, for example. Maybe you want to sort and organize them by color. That’s cool. Or maybe you want to organize them by type: winter, sneaker, dressy, or sports socks. That can work, too. Or maybe by height: anklets, crew, knee-hi…see my point? Where I will most likely flex my professional organizer muscle is if the quantity of socks you own threatens to take over the entire dresser, leaving no room for anything else. There is such a thing as too many pairs of socks.

And then we have kitchen cupboards. Some folks say dishes should go above the dishwasher for ease in putting them away. Others say they belong near the table for ease in setting it for dinner. Neither is right and neither is wrong. It might depend on who’s doing the emptying or the setting, or it might depend on the configuration of your cupboards and the quantity of your dishes. Food storage clutter

Speaking of cupboards, one thing I know for sure as an organizer is 90% of my clients relegate WAY too much real estate to plastic food storage containers. Raise your hand if this looks familiar!

There’s an organizing tip currently making the rounds that suggests the best way to store sets of sheets is to fold them and tuck them inside one of the pillowcases. Martha Stewart posted the tip in 2011, so it’s hardly new. I personally wouldn’t take time to fold and stuff sheets INTO a pillowcase, only to have to pull them OUT of the pillowcase to put them on the bed. But hey, if you love the idea and it helps in some way, have at it with my blessing. I will suggest that for a more streamlined, “professional” look than what Martha’s picture shows, turn the sets around so the closed edge of the pillowcase is visible.

My thoughts on how many sheet sets is enough? Two per bed should suffice, with the addition of two per season if you like to use flannels in cold weather. So often when organizing linen closets, we find sheets for mattress sizes that haven’t existed in the home in decades.

People ask me to teach them the “right way” to organize something and my answer is usually, “I won’t know until we discuss what is and isn’t working.”  That’s the part I like best: finding out why something isn’t working and figuring out what will work better based on their unique situations.

Stay tuned for my thoughts on the current craze in organizing: Marie Kondo’s book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” – the Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.” Let’s just say I haven’t drunk the Koolaid, and I’ll tell you the many reasons why.

Where should it live?

Where should it live?

My clients hear that question all the time.

When they complain about the backpacks plopped in the middle of the kitchen floor, or the car keys that are never found when needed, or the pile of missing mail from two days ago…whether its backpacks, keys, or the incoming mail – whatever it is – I ask, “Where should that item live? Where is its home? We know where it doesn’t belong – where does it belong?”

This question is usually met with an eerie silence. That’s the problem in a nutshell, folks: you can’t put something away if it doesn’t have a home.

So: establishing a home is step one. The right spot should be logical, practical, and doable. Your child can’t slide a backpack into a cubby that’s four feet above her head, and it doesn’t make sense to walk through three rooms of the house to put away your car keys.Keys on hooks by the door Remember: logical, practical, and doable.

Step two is developing the habit of actually putting the item where it belongs, and that takes time. Have faith – we humans are smart cookies. We can be trained to establish new routines so that, over time, hanging keys on a hook by the garage door will become a habit. Teach your child that the backpack goes on a reachable peg every day when she comes in from school. Put the incoming mail in that one designated spot so you can find it when you’re ready to process it, and in a matter of weeks, maybe even days, some common daily frustrations will actually be eliminated by answering that one simple question: Where should it live?

 

 

“Because I Said So…”

“Because I Said So…”

Sometimes I read tips by the upper echelon of organizers (you know, the ones Oprah made famous, or who’ve written best-selling books) and I think, “Hmm. That doesn’t seem very practical to me.”

Just because “So-And-So” says it’s a great idea doesn’t automatically make it the right  solution for you. There are no cookie-cutter answers – at least there shouldn’t be. What works for one person might not work for another, and a good organizer should be able to help figure out a solution for you based on your needs, your style, and your stuff.

A recent tip in an online newsletter suggested this way for dealing with receipts:

To organize receipts, a simple, low-tech solution is to use two bankers’ spikes. Get in the habit of cleaning receipts out of your wallet or purse daily. Place receipts on one of the spikes as they come in. When one spike is full, start the other. If you haven’t needed any of the receipts by the time you fill up the second spike, throw out everything on the first spike.

First of all, I would never recommend banker’s spikes in a household with small children or pets. Those things could be lethal in the wrong hands!

Secondly, not all receipts are created equal. Receipts for consumables that cannot be returned? I get rid of them once I’ve verified that the right amount showed up on my credit card. It’s not like I can return the gas I put in my tank or get a refund on the pizza from last month, right? BUT. What about the receipt for patio furniture that has a 10-year warranty? Just because I might not need it by the time the second spike is full doesn’t mean that I won’t need it three years from now if a leg falls off my table.

Do you want to rifle through all your receipts when reconciling one credit card statement – you do reconcile your credit card statement, don’t you? – or would it be helpful to separate them by each credit or debit card used?

I’m also not a big fan of this oft-repeated tip about kitchen utensils: expandable utensil drawer

Not sure what you use and what you don’t in your kitchen? Here is a tried and true way to find out. Empty the contents of your kitchen utensils drawer into a cardboard box. For one month, put a utensil back into the drawer only if you take it out of the box to use it. If it’s still in the box after four weeks—you don’t need it. Pass it on to charity.

What about my turkey baster? Or the whisk I use for hollandaise sauce? I don’t use those things monthly or even quarterly – but I use them. I think a more practical way to thin down your utensil drawer is to sort “like with like.” Once you realize that you have seven spatulas, you might decide that you can whittle it down to four. If you’re an avid baker, you may need more measuring spoon sets than I do – one set is plenty for me.

Go ahead and read those tips, but if they don’t seem logical or practical, no matter who’s offering the advice, maybe “Because I said so…” isn’t a good enough reason to incorporate it into your daily routine.

 

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